A Medication Warning I'm Surprised Does Not Exist

"Women should not take or handle this medication due to a risk of miscarriage."

In other words, the medication induces an abortion like RU-486 (Mifepristone) a/k/a the "morning after pill." Such a drug is called an abortifactant, or what I like to call a fetus laxative. I believe RU-486 only works within a brief timeframe after fertilization, but I could be wrong about that.

Anyway, the whole abortion debate could become moot if we could find an abortifactant which causes fetal termination at any point during gestation, market it for some other condition, and sell it over the counter without a prescription. Market it as an allergy medication or as a stool softener or a laxative or a pain reliever or a cough medicine - I'm sure in double blind studies there will be some evidence that it works in one or more of those capacities. So it would be sold as, say, a cold medicine for runny noses and congestion, and it would have a big, bold-letter warning label saying that women should be careful not to take (or even handle) it due to a specific risk of miscarriage. Women could freely buy it OTC for their "colds" and use it off-label as an abortifactant. And there would be no limits on when it could be taken. If you take it and cause a miscarriage after the second trimester... oopsie, it was an accident... had a bad cold and didn't read the label.

There's a commercial for a drug called Avodart, used to treat enlarged prostate, that has the warning "Women and children should not take AVODART. Women who are or could become pregnant should not handle AVODART due to the potential risk of a specific birth defect." Not even safe to touch due to teratogenic effects on a fetus... specifically children with male genitalia but female sexual features. It sounds like Avodart would be extremely popular among pregnant women in Thailand.

Since this hypothetical "cold medicine" but definitely, most certainly not (wink wink) abortifactant would be sold OTC for the price of Sudafed, women could induce abortions whenever they felt like it and it would be entirely private - the way it should be. Women wouldn't have to go to abortion clinics and deal with those jackass Bible-fuckers brachiating around the entrance with their asinine anti-freedom signs festooned everywhere within a 100 yard radius. Women wouldn't have to go to a doctor to get a RU-486 presription and then deal with a selfish, inconsiderate, moronic Bible-fucking pharmacist who feels he has a First Amendment right to not do his job because he Knows that Jesus doesn't want him to. Of course the religious nuts would want to ban this drug, or at the very least not allow it to be sold OTC. But it's NOT an abortion drug - no more so than Avodart is. There are plenty of drugs that can endager a fetus when taken by a pregnant woman. We just need to sell one of them OTC and market it for some other, noncontroversial purpose. A controversial side effect (warned against in big, bold letters) is completely different than a controversial intended purpose. Therein lies the beauty of this.

So, please, let's get such a drug out on the market, tell women not to touch or handle it, and let's shut up all the bible-fucking, "we don't want rights!" braying jackasses once and for all.